This post outlines an easily digestible checklist for feminine qualities that score BIG with men. These things, plus a healthy RESPECT (which doesn’t make the list, because it is a skill, not a quality), are what makes a woman unforgettable for me, and I believe, all men as well. Unfortunately, right now in western history, irresistible, respectful women are on the brink of extinction. So here’s the ideal, lest we forget!
- Emotional maturity is the biggest asset of all. She is happy, relaxed, and emotionally stable. She knows how to maintain a good attitude at all times. She has a bubbly sense of inner joy that doesn’t change with respect to circumstances. She accepts people for who they are, and doesn’t denigrate or shit test them. She knows what she believes, what she likes, and what she wants, and she knows how to get along with people in a win-win way. Men want a mature woman, and they don’t want a selfish, nagging, immature crybaby.
- She likes and understands men. Women who know how men function and love them for it are very sexy. There’s something about giving a man the space he needs to pursue his passions that makes a woman irresistible.
- A beautiful woman (a) dresses in a way that flatters her figure, (b) puts effort into grooming herself, and (c) cares how men perceive her, even if the end result is very laid back and simple. There are few absolutes, except to say that a woman who thinks that taking the effort to look nice is somehow beneath her, is not considered sexy to a red-blooded male.
- Intellectual sophistication and a sense of class will put a woman in the top 10%.
- The absence of unusual or distinguishing features. Facial symmetry and solid color dresses are good. Tattoos and annoying habits are bad.
- She is passionate about something that is not self-centered. It’s inspirational to see a woman who believes in what she does, whether it’s a social cause, a hobby or a job. Passion implies that she has a sense of purpose and meaning to her life.
- She is generous in her estimations of the motives of others. She assumes that a man means the best, and not the worst. Men like a woman who interprets his words and actions in a positive light, and who forgives the occasional stupid move, or uncouth remark in a casual conversation.
- She is responsive. When a guy says something, she says something that shows that she is listening and comprehends what he is saying. When he tells a joke, she laughs. When he calls, she calls back.
- Women who take themselves too seriously are seriously not sexy. There’s something about a woman who is comfortable enough to be playful, flirty, and not worry that she is risking her reputation. Please don’t confuse playful with silly. Silly women who are clowning for attention are vexing. Ironically, most men believe that playfulness is a great sign of maturity (see number 1 above). She is a woman who loves life and isn’t ashamed to show it.
- Men enjoy a woman who has positive personality traits. These are innumerable, but include qualities like honesty, openness, kindness, decisiveness and assertiveness. Also, no drama queen act, no indignant attitude, no shit tests, and no endless complaining.
- She is grateful. She knows how to say “Thank You” sincerely and with a smile. For most men, dating a woman involves a lot of time, effort, money and work, not to mention the labor in making plans to arrange a nice evening. Men want to know that a woman notices the investment in her, appreciates the work that went into planning the evening, and is able to say something positive, like “That dinner was fantastic”. A woman who has a spirit of gratitude signals to a man, “You can make me happy,” which is a prime component to attraction.
- She’s affectionate. Most women underestimate the impact of a physical connection to most men. A woman who understands this and gives affection freely is very sexy.
- She is ready and willing to listen and learn. Men want a woman who is comfortable talking maturely about intimate matters (e.g. family problems, sex) when the time is right. Men want a woman who are able to take on a new perspective (namely, his) under certain situations.
- She’s willing to bend the rules, just because ‘He asked me to’. A woman who has rules, respects the rules, and can still say, “OK, I’ll do this just for you”, is very sexy, and rarer than what people might think. It’s this “partner in crime” mentality that men seem to find irresistible. Ultimately, it’s a gesture of submission, which scores BIG with men. Note, if a woman bends the rules for every man she knows, then it’s no longer special. This means she essentially has no rules, nor any self-respect.
- She’s willing to set aside her fear. It isn’t being fearless that is sexy. It’s having the fear, feeling the fear, and saying, “I’m going to set this aside and go forward anyway.” That woman is sexy. She is truly living life. She is going to suffer some failures along the way, but men will be chasing her and asking for her number the whole way. The bottom line on this point is that she is trusting – she trusts him more than she succumbs to her doubts and fears.
- She likes to laugh (at his jokes). Humor is an indispensably valuable trait in a relationship. Men aren’t interested in women who crack jokes every other sentence. In fact, men want a woman with a sense of humor that matches his own, so that he can elicit a joyful response from her rather easily. In other words, men want a woman who thinks HE is funny. Not surprisingly, when she does think he’s funny and laughs out loud, the man will always find that to be very sexy.
Related
- Dalrock: The Problem Isn’t Knowledge But Attitude (1 August 2015)
- Notes From a Red Pill Girl: Embrace Your Femininity (20 June 2016)
- Sigma Frame: How Does a Woman Attract and Keep a Husband? (5 October 2009)
- Adam Piggott: The Traits of the Modern Marriageable Woman (19 November 2018)
Photo: Trisha Krishnan
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Reblogged this on Notes From a Red Pill Girl and commented:
Ladies, if you want to stand out, here’s a great to-do list from a guy’s point of view. From what I have read around the manosphere, I’d say he has captured it pretty well, and some of the list may be new! Certainly not things you’ll read in women’s magazines giving dating advice. What do you think? Do any of these points surprise you? Contradict what you have been told or read is important to men? Please share in the comments!
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I am elated to know that more young ladies will read this list. Thanks for getting the word out!
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Nice list! Found your page from redpillgirl.
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Ash, thank you!
I looked at your blog, a good read. It’s sure to help many young ladies.
Great find!
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excellent. have sent a copy to my daughters.
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Good stuff that points up how many women in America today are quite the opposite.
1) Emotionally immature. Denigrates others. Needs to attention whore to feel good about herself. Uses sex and her body to pump up her self esteem. Crappy, pessimistic attitude.
2) Neither likes nor understands men. Has poor relationship with her father. Views men with suspicion and distrust. Seeks not to have relationships with men, rather seeks how best to use men for her own ends.
3) Dresses overly sexy and revealing in effort to use her body to manipulate men. Or, in a relationship, intentionally dresses down to avoid sex with boyfriend/husband.
4) Intellectually incurious, self-absorbed. Unrefined and uncouth, uses swear words and curses frequently, in public. Allows herself to be photographed flipping off the camera or flashing “V” signs or duckfaces.
5) Advertises tattoos and piercings. Has poor habits like drinking too much or use of illegal drugs.
6) Passionless about anything but herself. Nothing in her life is more important than she is and what she wants and needs. Self-absorbed and self-centered.
7) Always assumes the worst of everyone around her, especially men. Suspicious and untrusting. Unforgiving of even the slightest missteps. This is usually borne of a series of bad relationships or experiences (usually brought on through her own poor choices).
8) Unresponsive, uncaring. Spends dates immersed in her phone or looking at social media. Plays push pull, hot cold.
9) Takes herself, job, political views, etc. way too seriously. Insists that he share her views and browbeats him for disagreeing. Won’t flirt and won’t give attention to her date/boyfriend/husband.
10) Poor personality traits dominate. Pessimistic, bitchy, ungrateful, not talkative, sullen, pouty, complaining/nagging.
11) Ungrateful, entitled, bitchy, cops attitude. Constantly talks about what she “deserves”.
12) Not affectionate, stingy with sexual affection. Won’t hug or kiss without prompting. (This is usually a result of lack of sexual attraction, which is rampant now – women are marrying men they are not sexually attracted to. This is the number one problem in marriages today, and the main reason marriages fail.)
13) Rigid in thought, deed, and emotion. Uninterested in learning anything new. Will not bend or compromise.
14) Won’t break any rules for him, won’t treat him as “special” to her. (Because he’s not special to her, because she’s not sexually attracted to him, because she’s settled for him and is using him.)
15) Approaches life, and her relationships with men, from a standpoint of fear, apprehension, dread, and self-protection.
16) Has no sense of humor and can’t appreciate a sense of humor in others.
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If American women do not embody these traits, thank 50 years of warped feminism for that.
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Just discovered this thread (linked from another site), and since your “about” page says you don’t mind women posting here, I’ll add my 0.01.
“Humor is an indispensably valuable trait in a relationship.”
A sense of humor is pretty key to all human relationships. I’ve moved 21 times in 26 years (military spouse), and I’d say having a sense of humor tops the list of reasons my spouse and I have weathered life’s changes together so well over the course of the years. e.
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I’ll add, levity overall is important. Think it’s a component missing in a lot of parts of the sphere….schadenfreude and “dark humor” have their place, and can be fun for a while, but the all-dark-all-the-time channel can take its toll on one’s demeanor and outlook. Folks talk about “reality” but reality is, there is always shyte to point to if one wants to continuously look to find it.
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Liz, thanks for your comments. You’re welcome!
I agree with the need for balance. People who base their humor on cut-downs and comparisons have a weak sense of humor. Real humor requires real character. I say this because the funniest people I have known, are people who have had extremely difficult lives. I don’t know if women can see through that or not. What say you?
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