Analysis of People on Dating Sites

There seems to be four kinds of people who join dating websites, whom I’ll call “Sick Puppies”, “Cheaters”, “Players”, and “Lovers”. These archetypes are described as follows.

The “Sick Puppies” (~40%) are people who are genuinely searching for love online, but they have a disadvantage which prevents them from finding love in their day-to-day lives. These disadvantages include things like having a low SMV, being divorced, having children, a chronic illness, a personality disorder, or some other weird hangup. Pursuing higher education and incessant traveling are among the most prevalent hangups for the younger crowd, because they typically interfere with the process of building a relationship with someone. There is also a large percentage of people who are socially dysfunctional in some capacity. These people either seem to be unaware of their disadvantage, or they naively believe their hangup isn’t going to affect their chances of finding a good partner. These people get passed over again and again, because others can intuitively sense that their hangup negatively affects their ability to deliver a satisfying love relationship. Instead of doing the hard work of improving their issues, sick puppies often take the easy path of “settling” for an unhealthy relationship with someone who is not right for them. Then they get hurt and become more “sick” – wasting the time of their youth and losing opportunities in the process.

The “Cheaters” (~30%) are people who are already in a relationship, with a majority of these being married. They hide the fact that they are taken, and are discretely looking to cheat for any multitude of reasons. Cheaters who browse profiles and either don’t have the courage to cheat, or can not find the opportunity to cheat, are Attention Whores.

The “Players” (~20%) are people who are not genuinely looking for a love relationship, but are only seeking their own self-interests. There are many kinds of self-interests, but the males typically look for sexual encounters, and the females look for a sugar daddy, or a “prince charming” to take them away to a “new life”. Many females also hope for sexual encounters, but only with the top 20% of males, who are less likely to look for love online. Very attractive females (SMV > 8) receive hundreds of messages each day, so this relegates them to Player status. One should also be aware of Players having other motivations, such as feeding the ego (AKA “Attention Whores“), obtaining citizenship or social climbing.

The “Lovers” (~10%) are people who are truly ready for a relationship. They have a healthy self-esteem, they are emotionally mature enough to be able to give love to a partner, they are honest with themselves and with others about their hangups, and they are willing to give more of themselves than what they expect to get.

The “Lovers” are the people who are most likely to form solid relationships. However, the few people who are truly ready for a relationship always find somebody within a couple weeks after they become able to love, and are typically unwilling (or unable) to wait any length of time for a person who might fit them better. So, there is a very small window of opportunity that one should watch out for.

Females in the last category who are dissatisfied with the simple “Hi, how are you?” message, should not interpret the short texts as shallowness or carelessness, as though the man has no desire to bond. Women exchange texts to bond, but men bond by doing activities together, like sharing new skills, playing sports or video games, watching movies or going to the gym.

Sorry ladies, but texting is NOT a man’s preferred method of building intimacy. Men need communication in conjunction with an activity, so he’d probably rather have you come over and watch a movie with him, instead of maintaining what he sees as an endless, random chat. If a man doesn’t text a woman as frequently or enthusiastically as she texts him, it does not mean he has no interest in her. If he sends more than 20 texts to a woman, he is definitely interested in her, and he is politely waiting for the right moment to ask her for a date. If she is overly particular about the timing, content or frequency of his text messages, then he will probably wonder why she gets randomly upset, and conclude that she is “high maintenance”. Thus, he is more likely to undervalue the potential of the relationship.

About Jack

Jack is a world traveling artist, skilled in trading ideas and information, none of which are considered too holy, too nerdy, nor too profane to hijack and twist into useful fashion. Sigma Frame Mindsets and methods for building and maintaining a masculine Frame
This entry was posted in Choosing a Partner or Spouse, Discerning Lies and Deception, Internet Dating Sites and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Analysis of People on Dating Sites

  1. Pingback: Crunching the Tinder Whoard | Σ Frame

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