Know yourself, so that others can know you better!

People Are Like Trees

Did you ever walk into a large forest? Did you notice all the trees, or were you more concerned about whether you might get lost?

Whenever we see a lot of trees together, they all seem alike. But, if you pay attention to one tree in particular, you’ll find that every tree is quite different. Here is a Maple, there is an Elm. An Oak tree is not the same as a Pine tree.

In fact, the bark and the leaves are unique for every tree. On a closer scrutiny, you’ll find that each tree has a different arrangement of branches, and each branch bends slightly differently than the others.

Once we take notice of these differences, then we become conscious of the smaller details. Even if we were to examine only one tree, we would find that the leaves are independent in size and shape. The veins in each leaf fan out in different patterns. If we were to cut into a tree, we would find rings, medullar rays, capillaries, and other parts of the “tree anatomy”, which can tell a trained observer about the history of the tree.

We may look at people in much the same manner.

When we are in a large crowd, everyone looks the same, and we might think more about our personal welfare than about anyone else. But on the occasion that we become more familiar with someone in particular, we find that each person we meet has his or her own special qualities. We eventually come to identify the person as a separate individual, distinct from others in the crowd.

How Are People Different?

As we get to know a person better, we discover

  • He/she has certain strengths and weaknesses.
  • He/she has certain preferences and sensitivities.
  • Each person clings to some breed of a general outlook on life.
  • Each person maintains daily attitudes and habits, of which some are good, and others are not so enviable.

Some of the people we meet seem to “fit” us well, and we naturally desire to spend more time with such persons, while other people remain disagreeable and unreasonable to us. But as we come into contact with many different types of people throughout our lives, we learn other ways of thinking, come to understand the essence of living, and we mature as an individual.

In fact, most often times, those people whom we were at odds with upon first meeting, become people with whom we develop the most meaningful relationships. Wise socialites know that the people who are the most different from one’s self are the people from whom one can learn the most. However wise this might be, it often becomes difficult, awkward and emotionally draining to continue such “educational experiences” with certain individuals, especially if that individual does not put the same value on understanding you in return.

The Interaction

Many people view social interactions as an arena for play, with goals in the game such as popularity or egotistical pride. In some cultures (western), there is a stiff competition for confidence, self-esteem and respect. Other cultures (asian) are focused more on security, power and control, so they play social games based on issues of honor, love and money.

Although it will certainly help us if we can identify the desires and social goals of any one person that we come into contact with, it is not always easily accomplished, and it can be potentially hazardous if we make any wrong presumptions about the motives of others.

However, there are many other qualities that we can safely and easily identify in others. If we have a basic knowledge about human nature, those things can guide us in developing successful relations with anyone that we might come into contact with.

The Introduction

Perhaps one of the most efficient and useful methods of improving the quantity and quality of one’s social contacts is to have a very effective introduction prepared and memorized. The introduction allows you to shape the initial impression that others have of you, and prevent any confusion that might arise from stereotypes or false impressions.

The goal of the introduction is to allow new people to get to know the “real you” much faster and in a more positive light. This eliminates the awkward and embarrassing guessing game from their experience of knowing you.

A continually rehearsed and well polished introduction is your opportunity to make your personality and character shine!

As one develops their introduction through time and use, it becomes a tool, a lens, through which one views one’s self. Then, giving your introduction to others is like handing to them the same lens, so that they can see you in the same way that you see yourself.

About Jack

Jack is a world traveling artist, skilled in trading ideas and information, none of which are considered too holy, too nerdy, nor too profane to hijack and twist into useful fashion. Sigma Frame Mindsets and methods for building and maintaining a masculine Frame
This entry was posted in Asia, Communications, Conserving Power, Models of Success, Personal Presentation, Relationships, Self-Concept. Bookmark the permalink.

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